Baby fever

A couple weeks ago I thought maybe I could be pregnant. I had been feeling nauseous for 4 days and even looked up how early you can get morning sickness. Which didn't help the situation since it said some women can get sick as soon as implantation. Right before I went even further and bought a test I was reassured that I was NOT pregnant. Funny thing was that a little bit of me was sad. It is a very exciting thing to think you could be having another baby. A lot more of me though was relieved. I am not quite ready to embark on that journey. Mostly because I am so in love with Ella right now. She needs me so much and takes so much energy that I only want to have to give it to her. I don't want to take any away from her. I already feel bad enough having to leave her for work or soccer. But soon, we will be ready again to have another. Probably this summer time or early fall. We would like Ella to be around 2 and a half or older. I really like the age difference between my sister and I which is just shy of 3 years.
One of the other things that was so weird is that since I have been working out at the gym with James and really working my abs my muscles have been contracting. When my abs twitch it feels like it did when Ella was kicking while I was pregnant. Makes me remember what I am missing. That was the biggest thing I thought I would miss was having her with me everywhere. I do miss that but the happiness I have with her now is so amazing I can barely believe it. She is the world to me and some day, not too soon, but not too far we will look forward to another miracle.